Disappointment
by MW3addict
Summary: How did Edward react to Jasper after he lunged for Bella. What about Jasper? What state was he in? This one-shot is based on new moon as what happened after Jasper went for Bella. Please read! I promise it's not boring! R


**Ok, this is my first try at a oneshot so I hope that this is good. I haven't actually done any stories related to the actual plot of twilight yet and I wanted to do something Jasper centered (as usual) so this is what I came up with...**

**Disclaimer: I do not own twilight**

**Edward POV**

I crouch in defense infront of Bella as I watch Emmett drag Jasper out of the room with Rosalie infront of them, keeping enough distance from his snapping teeth. Jasper used his feet to put pressure on the floor, making it more difficult for Emmett to move him. He made it even harder as he kept twisting his head in attempt to bite Emmetts neck as he growls furiously.

This wasn't Jasper

Jasper was shy, quiet, hidden and afraid; afraid that he would hurt somebody.

To Jasper, this wasn't even Emmett that he was fighting against. Emmett was just some stranger challenging Jasper for his meal. That's what the newborns did when Jasper was with Maria. That's why Jasper tends to be at his most unpredictable when he is hunting therefore we prefer to keep our distance from him when he is feeding and right now, we are disturbing him from his prey.

Whoever this was had taken over Jasper's body and had turned him into a monster that was craving for my mates blood. Jasper was gone and I wouldn't hesitate to fight him if he tries to hurt Bella again.

"Come on Jasper, fight it" Emmett snarled at him as the honey blond vampire took another snap at him.

_I want it! I need it!_

I hiss at Jasper as I hear his screams in my head. I knew he couldn't help it but he is out of control and the least I could do was protect the one I love and help her avoid further injury. The blood pouring out of her arm had me holding my breath. I couldn't imagine what I would do if I got out of control like him and _I _would be the one that hurts her.

"Damn it man!" Emmett cursed as he dodged another bite from Jasper but managed to drag him out the door.

Once they had finally disappeared, I turned to Bella as Carlisle nears her to look at her cut up arm. The smell was so tempting so I focused as much as I could to avoid breathing the sweet scent in.

"Just go Edward" Bella spoke.

I couldn't leave her; I needed to keep her safe.

"I'll stay" I stated, being my stubborn usual self.

"Edward, you may as well find Jasper before he gets to far. I'm sure he's very upset with himself and he won't talk to anybody but you right now" Carlisle spoke up.

What? Jasper doesn't need me. Bella needs me. When Jasper slips, he always shuts everyone out and returns to his normal state of mind a few weeks later after Alice spends 24/7 with him during his time of depression. I wouldn't be much help to him. To be honest, I know that he hates me the most.

Obviously Alice meant the world to him but then there was Emmett who is Jasper's favourite sibling since he spends his time with Em when Alice is out shopping. Rosalie can be a rather hateful person but for some reason, her and Jasper have this unique bond. It's not one that everyone can see but she talks more gently with Jasper than she does with anybody else because he tends to be a very sensitive person and I guess he had just picked up on that. Esme's calm emotions keeps Jasper near her when he feels down because he seems to be drawn to positive emotions when he is in such a mood and Carlisle... Jasper respects him and every time something like this happen and he slips up, Jasper always thinks that he has disappointed Carlisle the most and that there is that slightest chance that he wouldn't let Jasper be part of the family anymore.

There was something he liked about everyone in the family but me. He hated how I could hear his tortured mind and how I knew the darkest secrets that not even Alice knew. He hated how I could love a human and stand to be near her when he struggled to be in the same room as one. I suppose another reason why we never shared much of a bond is because I prefered to avoid him. Like Jasper, my gift effects who I prefer to be around and I would rather not listen to the horrors of Jasper's life many years ago; but doing that makes him think that I hate him.

"Yes, go find Jasper" Bella agreed with Carlisle.

Typical.

I hesitantly nodded at her and walked out of the room and into the garden. At least I was away from the tempting smell meaning tha I was less likely to hurt her the way Jasper just tried to.

"Calm down Jazz man" I heard Emmett's concerned voice.

I saw that Emmett still held a tight grip around Jasper as he pounds his head against Emmet's chest while making monstrous screams. Alice stood in front of her long gone mate as she tried to bring him back to his normal self.

"Jazz, baby it's Ok. Calm down" she hushed.

Jasper just seemed to growl in reply as he continued to thrash his body against Emmett. Even though he was the strongest of all of us, we all knew that Jasper was the second strongest, second fastest, the most skilful and at moments like these, the most dangerous. I noticed that Emmett was beginning to struggle as Jasper began to use his legs to kick which made Emmett focus on that therefore Jasper managed to get his arms free but just as he was about to stretch them back to grip on Emmet's neck, I rushed to his side, firmly holding his wrists together.

"Jazz, listen to me. It's alright just hold your breathe" Alice kept her voice calm.

She reached to touch his cheek but she quickly pulled back as he snapped at her. He looked down at the ground but continued to growl and then I noticed that Alice attempted to repeat the movement of reaching out to him.

"Alice, he's not safe" I said darkly.

She ignored me and the palm of her hand touched his cheek but this time, he let her. He was still hissing and growling but he didn't attempt to bite her again.

"Shhhh that's it Jazz" she cooed as his growls begin to fade.

He then began to whimper as he tried to pull himself out of Emmett's grasp.

"Emmett, it's Ok. Let him go" Alice said.

"No. He still isn't in the right state of mind" I informed her as I held a tighter grip on Jasper's wrists causing him to growl once more.

"Edward, he's scared. Of all people you should know that" Alice pleaded.

It was true. His past had ruined him. Made him nervous at the slightest touch. Of course right now with Emmett right behind him holding him tight is making him crazy. Emmett just seems like another newborn, trying to kill him.

But as cruel as it sounds, I would rather Jasper suffer mentally now than suffering if he was to hurt Bella if Emmett lets him go and right now, he is still unpredictable.

"Emmett, if you loosen your grip on him, he will turn right around and go for Bella again and I will _not _let that happen" I nastily said.

Emmett started to walk forward, forcing Jasper along with him but this time, he didn't hesitate and just let Emmett push him along. Alice was making a decision on whether to follow or not but then she turned to me.

"Please don't be angry at him Edward. You know how sensitive he gets with things like this and it wasn't even his fault" she said as her pleading eyes looked to mine.

To be honest, I wasn't sure what I would do or say to him when Jasper is himself again. I already was angry with myself for putting her in so much danger. So angry I felt like attacking somebody. I calmed myself and nodded at her, then ran past her to follow Emmett.

He was further than I thought which made me realise that it was because he let Jasper go. I heard screams of frustration as I reached Emmett's side. He just stood there with his arms crossed as his eyes were fully focused on Jasper who was pretty much tearing the place down.

"So er... should we stop him?" Emmett asked.

"We? You were the one that let him go" I pointed out.

"I'm glad I did. I didn't want him treating me the way he's treating them trees'" he answered.

I sighed at him. He was right though. Getting in Jasper's way was a very bad idea. Protecting Bella was worth it but now the scent as faded, there was no reason why I should stop him now.

"Just go Emmett. I'll keep an eye on him and make sure he doesn't do anything stupid" I quietly ordered.

Emmett nodded at me and took one last look at the distressed blond and then walked away. Once he was out of sight, I climbed up high in one of the trees that Jasper decided not to bully and leaned against the trunk while watching him as he continues to let his anger out.

I wanted to wait for him to calm down not only because he was dangerous but because he was angry; meaning he would spread the emotion on to me and I really didn't want to hurt my brother even though he did almost kill my mate.

After almost a whole hour, Jasper stopped and stood with his fists clenched and taking unnecessary deep breaths as he looked at the damage that he had done. As I jump from the branch, he spins around and gets into a defensive crouch as he hisses. I raise my hand in surrender but chose to not move any closer to him. Instead, he begins to walk closer to me as he glares and I have to admit, it was pretty scary. If it wasn't for the tree behind me, I would have taken a few steps back.

Jasper began to hide his emotions like he usually does as he stands now just inches away from me.

"Do it" he whispered.

"What?"I questioned confused.

"You know what now do it" he demanded a little louder.

"Jasper, I have no Id..."

"Release your anger Edward. I know you want to" he said darkly interrupted.

"No" I stated.

"Do it. Hit me Edward. Rip my head off. Whatever you want to do. Just do it and I won't fight it" he seemed to demand and beg at the same time.

"Jasper, you're just angry at the moment"

"And so are you and why? Because of me. It's always because of me" he raised his voice as he pushed me against the tree.

"Jas..."

"Hit. Me" he slowly demanded as he continued to glare at me.

I shook my head which seemed to anger him more as the next thing I knew, he had me pinned to the floor.

_Don't fight him! It's what he wants _I screamed at myself.

Then I began to feel more angry, making it harder to force myself to not hurt my brother. He was doing this. He was tying to make me angry enough to hurt him.

"Jasper, stop" I begged.

The negative emotion got stronger.

"Jasper" I growled at him.

His glare continued and the horrible emotion just over powered me and the next thing I knew, I managed to get Jasper off me and I had my hand round his neck as I pin him to a tree.

I could kill him.

He could have killed her.

He wasn't strong enough to handle the smell of human blood.

I couldn't let him near her again.

I couldn't risk letting him get away knowing that he is a danger to the one I love.

I tightened my grip on his neck as he begins to smirk. "Do it"

And as quick as it started, the sound of his voice brought me back to reality. What was I doing? I couldn't hurt Alice by destroying her mate. I couldn't even destroy him after hearing the terror of his past. Jasper may be the one who tried to attack Bella, but _I _was the monster. Not him. This was all my fault.

"What are you doing?" Jasper hissed.

I released my hands from his neck as I watch his eyes on me again.

Making me angry again.

"No Jasper. That's not going to work. No matter how angry you make me, I will not hurt you" I whispered.

He turned around and through his fist at the nearest tree in frustration and then walked away from me.

"Forget it. I knew you were too much of a coward to do such a thing" he snarled.

"Oh _I'm _a coward? " I yelled at him.

He stopped dead in his tracks.

"You're the one running away. You're the one torturing yourself" I continued.

He slowly turned around to look at me with a pained expression. Was that too sensitive for him?

His mind was full of memories from his time with Maria and when he ran away from her with Peter.

Yep. Too sensitive.

"Why are you not angry with me?" he whispered painfully.

"Because it could have happened to anybody. You just happened to be _that _anybody" I answered him.

We all knew that the whole party thing for Bella would be difficult for Jasper since he is new to the diet but we didn't expect Bella to cut herself. If we knew that would happen, if Alice had seen that happen even just a minute early, she would have got Jasper out of there. Jasper tried his hardest everyday but this just became too much. It wasn't his fault.

"Come back Jasper. Please?"

_"They'll be disappointed in me" _he thought.

"Jasper, they are not disappointed, only worried" I corrected.

_"I let Carlisle down"_

"No Jasper, he is proud of you. Proud that you haven't slipped in so long" I encouraged.

He always felt the need to impress Carlisle with the way he coped with smell of human blood but being a mind reader, I knew that one thing that Carlisle absolutely hated about Jasper was that he never admitted to him how difficult Jasper was finding it. Luckily, Carlisle is good at reading expressions on faces meaning that he was usually able to tell if it was too much for Jasper.

_"Does Alice still love me?" _He silently asked.

How could he question that? Alice would still love him if he had drunk all the blood from people in America. Where ever he goes, she goes. There was nothing that could affect Alice's feelings for Jasper.

Nothing.

"Jasper, you know she does. Don't ever think other wise" I answered.

He sighed but didn't say or think of anything else. Instead, he climbed up a tree and stayed there, leaning his head against the trunk. I thought about turning around and leaving him there so that he could calm himself with some fresh air but then thought otherwise. Instead, I leaped up the same tree and neared him. He looked my way with a plain expression and that's when I knew that he would hide himself for the next few weeks. Maybe longer since Bella meant something to me. I sighed at him and then reached my arm out to wrap it around him, encouraging him to lean against me. He was hesitant at first but eventually relaxed against me, leaning his head on my shoulder.

"I'm so sorry Edward" he sadly whispered.

If he were human, I know that he would be crying. I rubbed his back to make him feel comfortable.

"It's Ok. I forgive you" I replied.

I sat there with him for the rest of the night as I thought of a way to solve this.

I just hoped that Jasper wouldn't blame himself to what I had in mind.

**So... what did you think? **

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